IM back to this. IM at a point where I am now just starting to get over you again. I had convinced myself otherwise before saying that I hate you and IM glad, but IM not and never was. You really hurt me, on every level. I haven’t been able to date a girl, let alone even talk to one. I have zero self-esteem, zero confidence, and no idea what to do about it. I was always there fire you, even when you fucked me over multiple times. I was there when you needed me, and no one seems to be around for me when I need it now. IM going through a lot, and this is where I am turning to, not to you…..or anyone. I have changed so much, I’ve become a person of better performance and lack there of empathy. You have forever changed me, but I can’t help but want to not think of you anymore. I don’t hate you, but don’t want this feeling anymore, this constant thought of you and what your doing. How happy you are with someone else, how you’ve moved on with seemingly no problems, you have fallen for two guys now if not more, and I am nothing but another guy you’ve dated at some point. You are my defining person, IM not the same person in so many ways because of you and to be honest I didn’t realize how much so until recently. I can’t even describe this feeling, it’s like IM choking on my own self hatred and don’t know how to get out of it, and am only pushed deeper into these thought by reminders of you, which is everything still. I remember everything, and I really don’t like it. I hate sounding like a baby, which I am, but I literally have no where else to write those down. And I know IM only writing this for me, I still need to pretend to myself that someone some where will read it, so I can start.feeling like I’ve let out this pain. A little piece of me revealed to the world, the world of myself. It’s a scary concept, but I’ve got no one to level with about this. None of my friends, family or anyone really appreciate/understand why I still feel this way, because I’ve never told a soul about how you came for help, and then tell me your falling for someone else. I shouldn’t have been surprised.